Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I have peed in a lot of sinks
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
