would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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