They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
