We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I have fence marks all over my body
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
