dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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