i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
