i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
