rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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