The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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