Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
