the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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