Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
