Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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