Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
