HIV tests are more positive than that guy
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
