This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
