Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
