I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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