so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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