Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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