Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
