we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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