I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
