I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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