This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize