She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
