But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
