He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
