Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
how does that bad decision feel?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
