Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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