She is in my trunk
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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