grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
