They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
