But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
