I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
