she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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