so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
