bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
