i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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