I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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