I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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