Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
