so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
