FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
