Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
