so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
