i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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