non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
