doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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