worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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