so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
