I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
