i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I will pee on everything he values.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Randomize
