woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize