I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
