Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
