There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
