so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
