If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Semen is not good for contacts.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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