we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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