I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I could make wine with my vomit
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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