Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
